Independent Businessman

I'm distracted this morning from my personal devotion time because of the things within that were stirred by the Facebook post and comments in a friends' stream yesterday.  I made a brief comment on the post and then revisited it when several notifications popped up of further commentary.  I made an additional comment that has lead me to this place of discontent, not because my comment wasn't succinct or I was rude and need to apologize - but because it barely exposed the surface of the quagmire imposed by this tragic situation.  So this morning I was hijacked by the Spirit (who fully warned me yesterday this was coming), and I lay out what was given me to share.

Let me set the stage:  It was a news story where a 4 year old daughter was sexually assaulted and the father walked in on the event and beat the man to death.

Notice the sudden swell of various emotions within you that just accompanied that dry exposition of the facts.  Feelings are sign posts, signals, God given warning devices if you will, that some things need to be looked at.  Feelings are neither good or bad, it is what you do because of them that determines sin or glory.  Anger is normal and I daresay appropriate.  Sadness too.  Satisfaction or pleasure that the perpetrator got his just deserts.  Sift through all of them and separate the ones you identify if you are able.  Practice noticing your emotional reactions, it opens insight in to worlds unexplored.

Some of my readers already checked out for myriad reasons of their own.  That's fine.  The illusion of peace is a browser tab away, a channel flip, an early bedtime, or any other coping mechanism you routinely choose.  One of mine is the life choice of not watching news broadcasts, I stay focused on day to day life and the things I actually can impact for the better.  And sometimes its not the illusion of peace we're running to, it's the overwhelming nature of our own current situation which makes us completely unable to bear one more horrid thing bearing down on us in this broken world.  We're looking for bright and happy, not more tragedy when we're barely keeping ourselves from curling into a fetal position and weeping ourselves to dehydration.  That's fine, I pose no condemnation either way.

As I began reading the first of today's five Psalms, I knew I was out of sorts.  I read it twice trying to get focused, and still can't tell you what I read other than it being Psalm 13.  That's when this popped out onto my note pad:

• We spend our lives telling God to stay out of our business and then we cry out in distress wanting to know why HE allowed something tragic to happen and being mad that HE didn't protect us.  We give no account of man's free will or the consequences of humanity CHOOSING to sin.  God didn't do it - it was an independent businessman.

And that's the rub, we want independence.  We want to do things our way and I hear the rich baritone voice of Frank Sinatra proclaiming it strongly with his unique musical gifting and charisma, over the gentle but insistent swell of the orchestra building to crescendo behind him.  I love the song, it's beautiful music, but that message doesn't quite sit right when we read a headline like I set the stage with, does it?

I'm sure it's quite revealing about myself that I was understanding and even morbidly pleased with all the "I would have done the same thing" comments celebrating the perpetrator being killed on the spot.  I made a very self controlled comment about the effects lasting a lifetime and the sadness of living in a broken world where people are used and things are loved.  What got me fired up, not at the person making the comment mind you, but at the misunderstanding of the dynamics of the whole situation, was a later comment wherein someone said "thankfully the father caught him in time to save the little girl."


Not even close beloved.  It certainly could have been worse, or proceeded further into the violation.  But the traumatic damage of this situation is firmly established.  The devil has had his day and planted something that may destroy the child and family altogether. 

 Let me be crystal clear here, I am not a psychologist, therapist, or licensed clinical social worker.  I am however a man who has pushed into God for all that He is and is able to be as Jehovah-Rapha, The LORD our Healer.  I have walked the healing path of childhood sexual abuse without the loving help of my family of origin where the abuse occurred, or my second family of adoption who didn't know where to begin helping me face the trauma.  I speak of whence I've walked.  I share what I know and have read over the years because I believe there is "...no situation to difficult to be bettered, and no unhappiness to great to be lessened."  I believe that what others mean for harm, God can turn for Salvation.  I believe that we are blessed to be a blessing, and that 2Corinthians1:3-7 truly speaks directly to this situation:

Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort; who comforts us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort those who are in any trouble, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God.  For as the sufferings of Christ abound in us, so our consolation [comfort] also abounds through Christ.  Now if we are afflicted it is for your consolation and salvation.  And our hope for you is steadfast, because we know that as you are partakers of the sufferings, so also you will partake of the consolation.

Here's the tip of the iceberg from my comment in that stream: "...the child especially will carry distrust, violation of boundaries issues, confusion about her self worth, anger because it's next to impossible to sort the skein of tangled yarn caused by this event, and probably undiagnosed PTSD which manifests decades later though the signs will be with her daily. Not to mention her witnessing the killing of another human being (justly deserved or not she doesn't have the moral filters in place to comprehend it all)."  These signs are just the tip of the iceberg for most victims.  Sin takes a myriad paths beyond the entry gate and twists everything it can touch if only for the sheer pleasure of doing the will of its father the devil.

The only major blessing this child and family had in this circumstance is there can be no denial of the event.  Frequently adults or family members will attempt to deny what a child tells them when this type of abuse comes to light, and therapists call this the "Second Injury" because it makes the child doubt everything they thought they knew about the experience and therefore reality as a whole.  The pain of not being able to face the reality or repeated experiences of the abuse, especially if the child experiences the "Second Injury", can devolve into a cycle of disassociation that can lead all the way to dissociative disorders to multiple personality disorders, etc.  All because the adult cannot fathom the depth of violation they are being told about and choose to help the child - the whole thing is just too horrible.

And following close on the footsteps of their unfathomable horror is DENIAL about what their responsibility in the matter may have been.  They may or may not have had any attributive responsibility to the circumstances but shame and fear get mixed up and denial becomes a knee jerk detachment tool.  Remember, we all want to be Independent Businessmen, right?  I can't have any responsibility for what happened, and if the situation was horrid that would make me guilty of abuse by neglect - therefore they condescendingly ask in self protection something along this line: "are you sure that really happened baby?"  I'm always very hesitant to ask that question of my daughters after a story of any type...  I ask a host of other fact finding questions out, but rarely do I phrase my questions to cast doubt on what they're saying.

I tell you all that to lead you to this: the likely outcome the devil is aiming at here, even if it's just a small kernel within the heart of a redeemed believer in Christ, is hatred of God for allowing bad things to happen.  It is one of the biggest overall roots to people rejecting God as we think He is revealed in the Bible:

• God didn't do it, a human with free will did.
• God didn't allow it any more than a doctor allows sickness, a police officer allows crime, a fire fighter allows fires, a mechanic allows breakdowns.
• God isn't sitting on His radiant white throne looking down in judgement of the victim and capriciously deciding to hurl a lighting bolt into their life because of some hidden wickedness - He is in fact knelt down beside you trying to hold you in his loving arms as you both weep at the brokenness of humanity in being able to wreak this kind of destructive damage in a life He lovingly created.
• Being the victim is indeed partaking in the sufferings of Christ Himself, who was sacrificed as the spotless Lamb of God to take away the sins of the world.  Not any fun at all, but there it is.

Prayer moves mountains beloved.  Trust the God who has shown Himself time and again to be a healer.  Lift the families of tragedies up daily, that they would see the loving hand of God rather than hardening their heart in bitterness.  "Rejoice with those who rejoice, and weep with those who weep." we are admonished in Romans 12:15.  That's easy, the problem I have is with Romans 12:14 "Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse."  How can Paul write that with any integrity?  Because he knows how God changed him after traumatically persecuting the Church.  He knows the violence easily unleashed by humanity.  He knows what we read in Job 34:10 and 21-22:

Therefore listen to me, you men of understanding: far be it from God to do wickedness, and from the Almighty to commit iniquity

For His eyes are on the ways of man, and He sees all his steps.  There is no darkness nor shadow of death where the workers of iniquity may hide themselves.

and furthermore Job 36:15 (ESV):

He delivers the afflicted by their affliction and opens their ear by adversity.

Beloved, He will lead us out of dire distress and into a broad place where there is no restraint as the next verses go on to describe, but only if we refuse to cherish anger and submit to His ways rather than continue to operate as an Independent Businessman.