The example I frame this around today is Proverbs 22:6:
Train up a child in the way he should go and when he is old he will not depart from it.I find things stirring in my soul lately with the publicly told tragedies of Aurora fresh in my heart, the angry diatribes of intolerance redefined regarding the same sex marriage debate Chic-Fil-A drug itself into, and the witness of promising young people refusing to fit into molds of adult responsibility. I have little to say regarding the first two topics, my two cents is less than relevant or necessary and like two actual pennies the price of weighing in on them will cost me more than they are worth to make. Maybe in touching on the third I will inadvertently speak to the first two, maybe not. There are elements of personal responsibility woven through all three so maybe that is what precipitated the tie ins.
Young people today, funny I include myself in that category at 40 years old... just a passing observation from someone who more often feels they are a cantankerous old fart. Maybe the 'cantankerous old fart' title speaks more to my relearned values than my actual age. I find I have looked into the old ways and reestablished foundations that were moved by others. I certainly find it easy to digress like an old man whittling around a small chunk of wood to reveal the creation within. Chronological adults in today's worldwide culture often metaphorically buck and kick and scream and balk at being molded into anything resembling conformity, inspiring a strong desire to paddle them repeatedly in public humiliation. Part of me is quieting down now rather than risk said paddling, but the old fart in me is nodding in agreement, the black pentecostal in me is working up a "preach it brother!" and clearing my throat for a hearty amen or three.
Chronological Adults, I believe is where I meant to pick this up rather than Young People.
We live in broken times with abandoned children not taken under any wings, and though there are heartbreaking poverty situations of orphanage and war torn country examples I could advocate for, bring to a readers attention, I speak to my own culture in the United States today. The witness of an affluent society, made affluent not by greed and other nefariously evil machinations but by traditional values of hard work and Judeo-Christian work ethic underpinned by a religious realization traditionally called "The Fear of God." A healthy fear in knowing we would be held accountable by a power greater than ourselves, and in this country that was originally defined as the revealed God of the Bible whether we like it or not. The truth that most of what resembles progress or success today is actually fueled by greed and nefariously evil machinations is just a sad fact. That fact, however, no more changes the original roots of our God given blessings than calling good evil or evil good - and we are certainly not clever in thinking so by rewriting history.
I live daily working through my own past and pin pointing where my own character defects tend to come from, and as I search myself and root out the underlying sinful weeds that crop up or deform the attempts at healthy growth in my own life, I can't help but reach conclusions about the lives of people around me. Today I will be forced to face the negative corollary of Proverbs 22:6 in that we all work with chronological adults who will expect they can do whatever they want, because their daddy did when he walked out on their pregnant mother, or their mother did when she walked out on their daddy. Or my alcoholic parent wasn't a good example so who are you to judge me? I was raped... I was molested... I was beaten... I lived a life essentially abandoned by all parents and hope... We live in a broken world where the scenarios are numerous and few of them pretty. The 99% lash out and demand retribution from the 1% they suppose to have withheld their bounty. The conservatives rake the liberals, the liberals vilify the conservatives, while few of us objectively acknowledge anything like rational thought in public discourse of any type. We fail a fair examination of the content of character because we've redefined what character looks like. It looks like whatever I say it looks like, so screw you buddy! To a kid Love looks like giving them all the candy they want, and then it's still your fault when their abscessed teeth explode and the funeral home has to make an extra wide casket to bury the fat creature killed by infection being driven into their brain - by loving parents - what? Hello?
It doesn't take long for the logic to get convoluted and irrational. The foundations have been destroyed. Excuses and blame and striving for hope in man or princes rather than the only source of goodness.
Psalm 118:8-9, 6
It is better to trust in the LORD than to put confidence in man.
It is better to trust in the LORD than to put confidence in princes.
The LORD is on my side; I will not fear, what can man do to me?
There are inherent consequences to our every choice. Even in situations where divorce is pursued as the absolute last desired outcome, damage is done. I would never advocate someone staying in an abusive, adulterous relationship, but gravity isn't suspended by extenuating circumstances. Only love binds the wounds created by the bottom falling out. Our hearts don't respond to extenuating circumstances and rational justifications. Our heart says: I am insecure and unwanted and wickedly defective because they didn't care enough to provide me a loving foundation. If my parents are the bedrock foundation of what it means to be loved and secure and brought up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord, what unspoken messages were heard and learned in that child's life. People are disposable. There are no rules to follow except maybe "whatever feels good - do it." Sex - grab it where you can. Work - just enough to keep the lights on or at least feed your funnest habit. Blame - if it gets the attention off you. Personal responsibility? What? Is that Spanish? Greek? What language could that phrase come from and what could it possibly mean? Survive because you have to... life strives and clings in the most unlikely locations. I found tiny fish in a long standing mud puddle around a foundation pillar the other day - they're doomed but they were there. If I ever learn how to insert pictures in my blogs I will prove it to you. How like those fish are we? Striving to live in a puddle where our doom is a foregone certainty. Maybe I should strap myself to the temporary brace for the canopy until their life cycle is complete.
Other situations occur to me, like the formally married couple who divorced long ago in fact. Abusive behavior or addiction housed within the shell of an otherwise 'normal' ideal home. Shame and humiliation perpetrated within the blighted landscape of a dysfunctional family who has no ultimate desire to see the best outcomes in others or their children. Adults who wrongly expect that going through the traditional motions of their society will somehow 'fix' their personal issues and bring them into something resembling a straight line. They have essentially made a conscious decision to use others for their benefit, expecting it all to shake out in the end. Beloved it doesn't work that way, it never has, it never will.
So we are daily faced with a dilemma as to how we react, what do we do, how do we live? And we each come up with our own solutions and pick and choose what works for us today. Put ourselves at the center or on the throne - because that's what we learned - right? "Train up a child in the way he should go and when he is old he will not depart from it." Regardless how tragic or relatively kind our childhood was we learn our lessons well. And we see the fruit surrounding us daily. We get glimpses of kindness, and beauty and awe inspiring life experiences along the way to be sure, but far too often our daily walk is tainted with at least the gnats that follow rotten fruit. Sometimes we seem to be bathed in the putrid refuse whether we would or not. Thank God for being able to wash in the water of the Word and walk into the next day unstained.
The good news in all this is that sin can be dealt with, unspoken messages can be identified and rebuked as falsehood. Chronological adults can become spiritually responsible adults. The childhood ripped from them by others can be patiently released and partially experienced in cultivating a joyful adulthood with right foundations. Amends for our wrongs can be made - and if they can't be made directly to those we hurt, we can still live those amends to others who will benefit though they know not why. The fruit of the tree can be made good. The root can be cut loose from the poisonous nature of our past and relocated and grafted in to a righteous vine which provides soul enriching nourishment. We can produce good fruit for food and leaves for healing the hurts of those around us. But that is a personal decision and a reoriented lifestyle choice few of us ever make. And so we live with the exorbitant cost of making a penny when God wants us to experience the boundless riches of heaven.
"If I find in myself a desire which no experience in this world can satisfy, the most probable explanation is that I was made for another world."
C.S. Lewis -- Mere Christianity
No realistic hope of better things to come can be drawn from the ways of the modern world. What follows? Is there nothing good to hope for at all? There is, but we must seek this good hope outside the socio-politico-economic process. And this, by the grace of God, we may do. J.I. Packer -- Never Beyond Hope
There are two kinds of people: those who say to God, "Thy will be done," and those to whom God says, "All right, then, have it your way." C.S. Lewis
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